Your Email Inbox Is a Crime Scene
The muscle in your shoulder, the one just to the left of your spine, does a little twitch. It’s a familiar feeling, the prelude to a headache. You’ve just opened your laptop and seen it. The subject line is an archaeological dig of corporate history: “Re: Fwd: Re: SMALL UPDATE: Re: Project Chimera.” And next to it, the number that promises despair: (15). Fifteen replies. You know, with the certainty of a prophet, that inside that digital sarcophagus, the original plan is dead. It didn’t just die; it was murdered by a thousand papercuts of clarification, suggestion, and cc’d stakeholders.
The Graveyard of Ideas
We tell ourselves a lie, and we repeat it so often it feels like a law of physics: email is a communication tool. It’s not. It is a graveyard where good ideas, clear action, and productive momentum are sent to be buried under an avalanche of documentation. Email is a CYA (Cover Your Ass) archive that we have tragically mistaken for a workshop. Its primary functions are not collaboration and progress; they are documentation, deflection, and delay. Its asynchronous nature is a petri dish for passive aggression, and its archival permanence encourages the kind of defensive posturing that would make a medieval knight blush.
Buried
Deflected
Delayed
The Alpaca Incident
My friend Robin G.H. trains therapy animals. It’s work that requires profound patience and an intuitive understanding of calming anxious creatures. A few months ago, she tried to arrange


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